Gotham Grime

NYC Skyline at dusk
Gotham GrimeTM

The SOOT of NYC

Yes here it is the one and only official soot of NYC!  

Accept no substitutes! Accept no cheap imitations!  

This is the real deal. The black powder!

The original official Gotham grime NYC soot!

Anyone who has ever lived, visited or traveled through our fair city knows this black substance well! It gets on everything, cars, windows, floors, clothes, and benches, even in your bathroom! It is our year round snow! It may be black, but it is year round, and it does come from our skies! So fear not, our supplies are not running low! We get more daily! Do your part to help keep NYC clean, and get yours today! If you would like your Gotham grime from a particular address*, that is not a problem. Right now our collectors are working in Gramercy Park, Soho, the East Village, Chelsea and hells kitchen.This is a must for any displaced New Yorker! Or the perfect gift for the person who has everything! They do not have this, unless of course they live here! And then most likely, someone cleans it off their window ledge for them once a week. 

Warning!!!

  1. Gotham Grime is not for consumption or ingestion by human or other living thing!
  2.  Gotham Grimei s not intended to be rubbed into eyes or inhaled! If product comes in contact with skin, please wash thoroughly with warm soapy water immediately!
  3. Gotham Grime may stain clothes and other fabrics, such as carpet & upholstery.
  4. Gotham Grime may contain any or all of the following; wtc dust, cigarette ashes, cigar ashes, marijuana ashes, dust, lint, asbestos,  con Edison smoke stack debris, boiler room emissions, passenger car emissions, motorcycle emissions, fire engine emissions, police car emissions, taxi cab emissions, bus emissions, delivery truck emissions,  subway train emissions, air planes emissions, metro north train emissions, Hudson, Harlem, & Stamford train emissions, long island rail road emissions,  path train emissions, tug boat emissions, water taxi emissions, Staten island, governors island & liberty island water ferry emissions, barge emissions, helicopter emissions, dump truck emissions, crane emissions, bull dozer emissions, fire ash from fire places & structural fires, dead insect parts, human and nonhuman hair, dandruff, flakes of skin or scales, rat droppings, mouse dropping, squirrel dropping, pigeon droppings, sea gull droppings, crow droppings, robin droppings, roach droppings, water bug droppings, other insect droppings, other airborne contaminates not listed.

Do your part to keep NYC clean!

Buy Gotham grime!

Collect all the neighborhoods!

* Outer boroughs for an additional fee

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5 Comments »

  1. Alonso Giovanni said,

    This is too funny! Can I bottle it? I am little concern about the packaging. Is it recyclable?

  2. Carol said,

    Thank you for your questions.
    1st let me start off by stating that your GG will come in a sealed container. You may transfer it from said container to another vessel of your choosing. I would suggest taking appropriate precautions.
    2nd Your package of GG will come attached to an Official Card (printed on recycled paper, of course!) Stating that indeed it is the Original GG and where it was collected.
    I hope that I have addressed all your concerns. Please feel free to ask any future questions.
    Thanks again,
    Carol.

  3. can you get me something from the Plaza Hotel?

  4. Carol said,

    But of course!
    How many packages would you like?

  5. Mark Edwards said,

    Hi Carol,

    Do you offer a bulk discount? Do you offer Gift Packaging?

    Can I choose my neighborhood, and are there any discounts or hidden fees, say for “clean” NY neighborhoods like Riverdale, Forest Hills and Richmond Hill, Staten Island? Or “dirty” NY neighborhoods with extra emissions like 42nd and 5th, 3rd Ave. near the Gowanus Canal in Brooklyn, or Hunts Point in the Bronx?

    Do you have any celebrity packages like Bloomberg Subway Grime, Madonna At The Waldorf Grime, or Corey Lidel Was Here Grime?

    After receiving the Grime, how can I clean and maintain it? Do I need special humidifiers, air cleaners, or other procedures to keep the Grime “authentically dirty”?

    Are there any special safety considerations, including spontaneous combustion, exposure to pets and unexpected visits by my Mother-In-Law?

    Last but not least, I’d like to know if there is an Authentic Grime Certification Process or Standard. How can I measure my Grime up to the Grime that others may have collected? Will my Grime be as good as any Grime that collects on someone’s stuff in say, East Tremont, The Bronx?

    Thanks,
    Inquisitive Edwards


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